Gary occasionally contributes to the blog as a guest poster - read his posts here!
Life has this way of being completely unpredictable but absolutely
perfect at the same time. I think so many times, people forget to count
their blessings through both the best and worst of times, I am no
exception. Until now.
This is my second chance. Gary gave me my second chance.
history is a mix of new and old. We first met, really, in the 8th
grade. My family and I moved to a Navy base in my hometown of Yokosuka,
Japan, and his dad was finishing up the final year of his orders there.
We spent 1 year at the same school, during which time we had many of the
same friends, ran in similar social circles, he even dated one of my
best friends to this day... yet we never really met. When he moved away,
I forgot all about him and when I finally moved back to the U.S. in
2002, his family moved back (without him, as he went to college) to that
base a year later. It wasn't until 2010 when we were reconnected, this
time through Facebook. He saw my picture through our mutual friends pop
up one day - at that point, I had recently left my very controlling
first husband who did not allow me to have many friends, let alone male
friends. As if by fate, my friends from our hometown told me to come to
the beach with them, and for the first time ever, I was able to. These
are the pictures Gary saw and friended me. One day, I was on Facebook
chat (something I never use) and he popped up. "Julia Morey" was all he
said, and through the thousands of miles (he was living with his parents
in Yokosuka again after graduating and being unable to find a job; I
was in California) his heart reached mine.
At the time, I was
semi-seeing someone else who actually won me over - what a stupid
mistake that was. I was talking to this guy for a year, and it was
going nowhere. Looking back, I have no idea why I even
bothered. Gary talked my ear off about it, as he was my shoulder when I
needed to vent about this asshole who wouldn't leave me alone (but I
didn't exactly stop letting him back in, either... anyway), telling me
to stop talking to him, that he was no good, et cetera et cetera. I knew
he was right, but other guy was here and Gary wasn't. And of course the
icing on the cake was I thought I could get the other guy to care.
I thought I could change him... but through it all, I learned a lot
about myself. 1) A guy shouldn't need to be changed and 2) I deserve
better. So after a few (long, long weeks) of telling Gary to leave me
alone, I (virtually, since physically was impossible) crawled back to
him on hands and knees and told him he was right.
Even from a distance, Gary was the one for me.
a couple months later, in October, Gary visited California. We saw each
other for the first time since we were 13 - 12 years later! We flew to
Washington DC for a wedding, came back to California and a few days
later, he was gone again. The following February, I visited Japan to see
him/go home for the first time in 9 years. It was an incredible trip in
and of itself, but this was the trip that also sealed the deal: we were
pregnant. I flew home with the ultimate oops/souvenir. He packed up and
moved here to California in July and we've been together ever since.
The in-between time was us spending literally every waking moment
Skyping, texting, emailing, messaging, whatever. He woke me up in the
morning to get ready for work, as the time difference usually meant he
was just getting home or about to go to bed. I felt every nerve in my
body ignite with fear when the terrible magnitude 9 earthquake hit
Northern Japan in April 2011 and I couldn't get ahold of him yet could
watch the events unfold streaming live online. And the feeling of relief
when he finally landed in California and we were able to spend the
remainder of our pregnancy together (4 months).
This man... what
can I say. I was going through a somewhat sad, ugly divorce and was
involved with someone else. I was at my lowest of low points when he met
me, yet with all my hang-ups and skeletons in the closet, we fell in
love over Skype (who does that?!). Perhaps it's because we met
when we were a bit older, or because we went through some tough stuff to
get to that intersection that finally joined us together. He can't tell
me what it is about me any better than I can tell him what it is about
him. We are so alike in so many ways, yet so different. And then there's
our first son, the light of our lives and his clone. In the time
we have been together, both during our initial interaction, official
togetherness, life together and marriage on May 16, 2012, we have gone
the distance and more. I look forward to the beautiful path we are
taking into the future, together.