Thursday, November 22, 2012
You learned to walk early. I remember so vividly the day when we were visiting your Japan ba-chan and ji-chan when you learned to stand on your own for the first time - it was a snowball from there. A month later, you look your first steps at 9 months and you've been racing towards toddlerhood ever since. But I know you aren't in a hurry to grow up because as far away as you dare to venture away from me, you turn to find me and run back just as quick. My little boy you will always be.
You are such a social boy, always smiling at others and so, SO curious. Everything makes you laugh, it's such a joy to hear your happiness spill from your lips. It makes me want to cry, that's how beautiful it is to me. I love the way you grab my face with your little hands and force me to look down at you when I'm wearing you in the baby carrier, the way your eyes search for me in a room to make sure I'm still there. I'll always be there, sweet boy. It reminds me to walk slowly, move meaningfully, look intently at you and cherish you because you don't know about the ugliness of the world yet, rightly so. You only know of the world your papa and I have been able to show you so far and hopefully, it's been enough. I fear that, daily... but when I see how happy and well-rounded you are, I fear a little less and feel much more pride.
We are in for a long, eventful voyage - your life will be long, beautiful, and ever changing; some days, you will think the world of me and then next second, I may be your worst enemy. No matter what the condition, I will always always love you with every single cell in my body, every breath I have taken and will ever take for the rest of my life. You are my pride and joy, every time I look at you I am taken aback by the beauty and perfection that I have been allowed to have as my sweet little boy, my first born. One day, you will know how it feels to fall absolutely, deeply in love with a child of your own... but not too soon, please. Let me enjoy being your mama first.
I love you.
Posted at 6:20 PM