Sunday, November 4, 2012

Guest Post: Papa Gar-Bear

Guest posting is something I have considered for my blog for a little while now, so you can imagine my excitement when Gary asked me tonight if he could write a little something for this here place in cyberspace. Here's a first-hand look at the other, better half of my life, the father of my child and the pillar of strength I lean on. Take it away, papa!

Hello followers. For those of you who got a bit excited for the next update from Julia, I'm sorry to disappoint you. But, as one of the main characters in Julia's story, I figured that it would be nice to give you all my perspective on things every once in a while as well. So, please bare with me.

I guess I'll start by first explaining the title of the post. When I was younger, I was well known for my seriousness, and my bit of an easy temper. Growing up as the oldest of three...with the words, "you're the oldest you're supposed to be looking out for your siblings," constantly being recited to me, I ended up having a protector type personality ingrained into me. My siblings and I are close. Closer than most siblings, I like to think. We are all pretty close in age, having about 2 years in between each of us. (I'm currently 27, brother is 25, and sister is 23). But without boring you with too many details, the three of us have all the same friends, and we hung out as a large group quite often. The catch was, that even though we were out as friends, I was still an older brother. So, when I noticed something I didn't like, I would be very vocal about it; not only to my siblings, but to my friends as well. So, I ended up with a reputation amongst my friends and siblings of having two sides to me. First, there was Scary-Gary. Which, I'm sure you can imagine who that is. Then there is Gar-Bear. The guy who wasn't out as a big brother, but as someone who was much more chill and fun to be around. Over the years, I like to believe that I loosened up a lot and became more of the Gar-Bear that my friends and siblings saw in me. Then, Julia and I got the news that we were expecting. Suddenly, Gar-Bear graduated, and out came Papa Gar-Bear...a nickname that my little brother was very quick to coin. I guess its better to be Papa Gar-Bear than to be Scary-Daddy-Gary or something.

So, why am I writing a post anyway? Well, first let me explain that I am absolutely the opposite of a blogger. I barely update my facebook let alone spend time designing, posting pictures, and writing about a life that I doubt people are interested in. I tried it out before. I had a Xanga account way back when. (yeah...remember those?). But I didn't care for it then, and not much as changed.

So again, why am I writing this post anyway? Well, when I first got back in touch with Julia, we were talking about our dreams and what it was that we wanted to do with our lives. (Who doesn't have this conversation when you're dating?) Well, I dont remember much of what I said. But, I remember distinctly that Julia said that her dream was to write. She wanted wants to be a writer. I'm sure you all know by now that she is a nurse by trade. But down in her gut, she would be happy with some quiet time and a laptop to keep her busy. This is a dream that I support in full. If writing is what makes her happy. Then I want her to write.

But, alas, this still doesn't answer the question, does it? Obviously, everyone knows why Julia blogs. She wants to express herself. But why am I posting? Well, thats just it. Julia is so much like a lot of us in this world; including myself. She's got a dream, and as much as she wants to go out there and seize her dream. She's scared. She's a bit hesitant. Just like I am. If I wasn't so hesitant, I'd already have my Masters of Secondary Education. I would have stopped making excuses and just finished up my schooling. Just like there are so many of us out there who have the potential to make some sort of loud noise in the world, proclaiming that "WE EXIST!" and that we "WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW IT!" Some of us have the athletic abilities to have possibly been olympians. Or some of us have the artistic abilities to have put Picasso to shame. Or even some of us who could have simply ended up with the person that we never wanted to let get away. I dont know why so many of us are afraid to try and realize our dreams. Something about being too comfortable in our current situations, regardless of how bad they are. Or...something about being too worried if it doesn't work out. I guess both can be true. We are creatures of habit that do not like to venture off into the unknown. We are also creatures that latch on to and cherish the dreams themselves...causing us to fear the possibility of failing in that dream, or worse succeeding and then having nothing else.  We are the type of people that spend our lives on stumbleupon or pinterest reading quotes from smart successful people who say beautiful things like, "The goal is not to end up at the Pearly Gates perfect and clean, but to show up beaten down and dirty...thinking to oneself...'that was one awesome ride'"(-unknown)...and thinking to ourselves..."That is so true! What an awesome quote!"

This is not what I want for my family. I do not want it for me. I do not want it for Julia...and I most certainly dont want it for our son, Daniel.

When I take a look at all of the greats in history, they all have something in common: Support. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart is known to be one of, if not THE greatest musician and composer in history. But he would have never been so amazing without the support of his father, who taught him everything. Same story for so many great athletes...Tigers Woods, Michael Jordan, Apolo Ohno. They all trace their humble beginnings to a father that supported them. Even writers...I recently read through all three of "The Hunger Games" books...and at the end of the three books was a little shout out by the author to all those who supported her; one of which stood out in my mind. She said (and this is by no means verbatim...) that she especially appreciated the support that she got from her husband...who had read through her initial drafts of the books before she let anyone else read them.
Without being elbows deep in her project, her husband gave her the little bit of necessary support that she needed from time to time to come up with a great story that has EXPLODED into a huge success.

THAT is why I am posting. Support.

I decided that, to show my support for my lovely wife, who is an amazing mother to my absolutely beautiful young son...that I, from time to time, would post my point of view of our journey through parenthood together. I want to give her that support that she needs to realize her dreams. Even if only in a small way. I want to show her to know that I believe that she is a great writer, and can only get better from here. And I want to show our son, Daniel, that he has parents that are still dreamers...and that we actually chase those dreams.

So, as admittedly corny as it may be...I hope that you enjoyed my post. I'm sure you'll never enjoy it as much as you enjoy Julia's posts. (she's the writer...not me.) But, I hope that from time to time...I can give you a little taste of what Papa writes...when our baby is sleeping tight.


  1. I think this is the best post ever. You're so lucky Jules, to have a guy like Gary support you 100% behind your dreams. And I love that he is so vocal about it. D is SO lucky to have Papa Gar Bear, to have him be fun & protective.

    I enjoyed your post G! I hope to see more posts from you.

  2. I love this! Gary needs to write more :P